Sunday, 12 January 2020

Will I Ever Learn

Will I ever learn probably not, I always thought I was a reasonably intelligent person, however I have been feeling rubbish the last couple of weeks, I haven’t been blogging much at all as is obvious from the absence of posts.

I kinda know what has happened and I have a few changes I need to make in my life, I do miss writing my blog, today I have read some of my posts and my goodness. I realise my command of the English language and spelling is rather pants. You would think I had never read any of my posts before I publish them there are so many typing mistakes and spelling errors , feel quite embarrassed but I suppose that’s just me .

The thing that struck me so much is how I keep repeating the same pattern, so why haven’t I put changes into place to help myself. I really don’t know is the answer.

At the moment the only thing I am doing is my role of a Slimming World Consultant which I do love,  it hasn’t helped because I was already exhausted when I started the busiest time of the year. It all started with those blasted leaflets, I never dreamed that a little piece of paper can cause a person so much anguish. However they do, the reason they do is because I know first hand how much a little leaflet can change a persons life. So they are an important part of my role.

This time I have done things differently and had the most amazing help from some amazing people and if any of you read this blog I can not thank you all enough. The leaflet distribution worked we got all 6250 leaflets through letter boxes on time I actually enjoyed the days we where out leafleting.

I had a gentlemen join our group because of a little leaflet dropping on his mat, he is already feeling better about things and is looking forward to making changes in his shopping cooking and eating so he can improve his physical health, this is why I care about them so many people are desperate for help and it truly brakes my heart when people get pulled into quick fix fads that are not only expensive but they don’t work, they are then left feeling worse then when they started.
There are other parts of my role that I do which for me are physically exhausting, I am not feeling sorry for myself or moaning and I will not list them all, but I have to try and accept my body is different, I can’t do as much as I could 6 months ago, my arms are so much weaker and so is my right leg, my body gets a hard time from me because I always push the limits until it hurts so much that I have to stop ,this always means I sleep or I cry. I have been doing a lot of both.

I have been doing other things when I think about it, because I am so sore and tired the nice things I have been doing just don’t seem as fun. 

Last week we went to the pantomime which was just plain fabulous we arrived early as we do so decided to go for a coffee. My goodness that wasn’t easy all around the Theatre in Nottingham are lovely coffee shops and some not so lovely all with steps, we did manage to find a costa and it really didn’t bother me the access issues, this was most likely due to the fact a very nice car driver didn’t run me over when I forgot to look before I crossed the road. It’s amazing what a smile can do.

Not really sure where this blog is going or if I will publish it to be honest as it feels very poor old me and that’s not what I feel. I am so grateful that I have been born with an amazing ability to keep going  and keep picking myself up. I just wish I could learn to not let myself get so low before I try and pick myself up.

I haven’t mentioned my food optimising journey well I am back on my journey towards TARGET I did amazing on the run up to Christmas totally in control, Christmas Day and Boxing Day just as I had planned then oops self destruct and a large gain. So much I felt such a fraud when my story was published on our Team page as on that  day I was eating very high synced food. I really don’t know why I do it , I don’t enjoy it but even writing this I can feel a change from not even thinking of chocolate and cake to really wanting to have some. We all know we can when food optimising however I am starting to think I might have to permanently stay of the cake.

I am enjoying trying new foods at the moment and I am introducing more plant based meals for a few reasons which is a blog post in itself.

I think this is enough rambling for one day, just as a disclosure these are just my mad thoughts and before anyone puts 2 and 2 together and makes 7 I am still the same happy bunny enjoying my role as a Slimming World Consultant just have to manage my time so I am not so tired and let my little body rest. I am looking forward to spring getting my camera out and my crochet, also looking forward to blogging my adventures not just about my crazy brain.

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