Saturday, 19 October 2019

Look After YourElf.

Wasn't sure if I was going to blog today. I have had a couple of days feeling like I am not really coping very well, haven't been feeling sorry for myself but I have been feeling like I am not having much fun at the moment. I have just re read my last post and do you know what I am not doing too bad at all.

Wednesday was a real rough day, they actually came to mend my toilet, I was so excited but nervous too. I tried to keep busy while the engineers were working. I must admit it took me all my energy not to lose it with them.
Cor blimey I can moan but goodness these two, moan moan moan, all about this should be done in the factory too hard a job to be expected to be done at home. They hadn't been given enough time to do the job. I really wanted to march in and say if you stopped moaning and got on with it wouldn't take as long.
Excuse me what about me not having a toilet for 3 months, I didn't obviously, I mediated instead.
Lots of umms and ares have they mended it and we thought they had.
I was so relieved about the fact I didn't have to allow 50 mins to use my make do arrangement. I also felt totally exhausted to top it off was really disappointed how many of my Slimming World Members didn't stay to group. Normally it wouldn't affect me but this week it made me question whether I was the right person for the role.
The members that did stay were amazing setting goals and plans, they actually gave me some well needed food ideas and reignited my passion for food optimising, this too kinda made me think should be me inspiring members oops.

Thursday morning got up went to use the toilet, it raised up so I could sit on it then wouldn't go down again. Ten minutes of pressing reset I managed to use it and get off. I am afraid I did cry and didn't think I could keep going putting on my happy face. I sat on the bed thinking come on get a grip and I saw an envelope with some money we have been raising for #TeamJake. A little boy with cancer, it was the slap I needed if Jake can get on with it so can I.

Since then I have been trying to make myself do some things I enjoy, I am trying to really get my emotional energy recharged.

I have made myself go to camera club even though I wanted to go to bed, today I have cooked and eaten healthy. I have spent the day finishing my crochet Elf. I love him. I am so pleased I sat and did it rather than going to sleep.

Tomorrow I plan to go to a garden centre with mum n dad to look at Christmas Decorations. Now I am going to look at my photos from yesterday.

The toilet heaven knows when they will be back, however it will not beat me. I am a fighter I can do this and I have been 7 days without a fall. One feels on the cards but being super careful.

Will be going to bed tonight Happy that we are actually doing OK.

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