Today is the day.

They said everyone welcome at Slimming World.

Today is the day that I have been planning,preparing and worrying about for weeks,it feels really strange. Clive has gone into hospital waiting to go into surgery. I am hoping and praying he has listened and taken in what the surgeon has said. I appreciate it is going to be very difficult for him not to do things, for 15 years he has always thought about what he can do to help me making sure I don’t get tired etc. Now it is really important he looks after himself . The hard part for Clive is not being able to rush and carry 6 shopping bags at once and accepting that I can do it in my way and it takes me a long time but does it really matter.

It’s 11 am and I have completed my first challenge,fed Seabass without dropping her dish and making a noise. She is so funny she didn’t trust me she went into the hall , she so doesn’t like the noise. I actually sat in my chair which meant I could just easily place it on the floor. The bed is made , curtains open which might not sound much but is a challenge and I have done it safely. The washing machine loaded just waiting for these Pjs when I take them off.

The bungalow is so amazingly clean and sparkling I truly need sunglasses,love it. A great big thank you to my friend who came yesterday in her professional capacity as the dirt and grime buster. It is so funny I keep tidying everything away our bungalow has never been this tidy, also I must of wiped the kitchen work tops a million times.

The fridge is full of lovely looking smoothies for Clive when he comes home and my meals are all ready, chicken out the freezer for a tikka salad for lunch and leftovers pasta and tomato and pepper sauce for tea.

The only thing I have to do is wrap some prizes for Slimming World 50th Parties in group this week and do my final preparations, kinda wish wasn’t working to be with Clive but I will enjoy it even if it’s  going to be exhausting . I have so much help though ,it has really overwhelmed me how kind everyone is. I didn’t want to miss out on the fun in group which kinda feels wrong now,at the time I thought it was the right thing to do.

The decision is made and I am all ready to give all my members a 50th Birthday Celebration they deserve and I might as well look forward to it enjoy it have fun,then I will be happy for Clive. He might actually appreciate the fact I am not fussing over him and leaving him be. Who knows but I will go with the happy version guilt get us nowhere but stressed.  I am determined to get through this challenge as calm as possible.

Going to try and give myself good nutritional food but if the odd brownie or chocolate does happen to jump in my mouth all by it’s self I will not go into self destruct mode, fingers crossed. Really don’t want a hat trick of oops I did it again.

Feels strange but I might actually get to do some crochet today, I kinda feel guilty that I am just calmly sitting here blogging actually enjoying the rain,it is absolutely tipping it down. The ironic thing is I am waiting for a hosepipe to be delivered as the decking needed attention because of Seabass well we don’t need one now , the rain has sorted out that little problem