Tuesday, 13 August 2019

 Think I had better set a timer tonight so I don't go on and on. Today has been a really challenging day for me. Started really positively, been thinking I really want to master being able to use my camera easily in the chair. I love taking pictures but because my arms haven't enough muscle left I can not hold the camera. I have a really light weight camera and light weight lenses. I can't actually get my arms up to my face without anything in my hands so can't expect them to hold a camera.

The tripod is great when doing set photography like food or a flower in a vase. I want to be able to walk around taking pictures, OK I will settle for wheeling around.
We are trying out this attachment made by the other half, it is actually brilliant.

I can move the camera focus and the arm holds everything steady while I take the picture. Off I trot to Elevaston Castle, all excited to be going out in the field with my camera to take pictures of bees and squirrels. For an intelligent person I can be very stupid at times. It's the school holidays it was full of families enjoying themselves. Please don't get me wrong I love children love watching them play the squirrels had sense they were all hiding.

Some people are just plan ignorant and rude, most of the children were great but my goodness some of the mothers, I wanted to say have you not seen a person in a chair with a camera before. Some actually stood just plain staring and I mean staring, don't tell me it was in an inquisitive way or just watching me it was stop walking stand and stare way.

I tried my best to keep out of people's way, sat patiently trying to focus on an arch way waited for the children to finish playing. There mothers saw me and hurried over stood directly in front of me and the arch. I waited not patiently on the inside but on the outside, I just felt pants wanted to scream I deserve to be hear too I am aloud to enjoy myself I didn't obviously.
 Sat moaning here moaning it has just occurred to me that I could of said excuse me please do you mind stepping to one side, I am trying to take a picture of the arch with the duck in the middle.
 Maybe they thought I was going to take a picture of their precious brats oops sorry children.

I will stop moaning soon just been discussing this with a group of people as its been annoying me all day. Why shouldn't I try to learn to use my camera I like it. It normally helps me relax. Anyway that backfired as they were just a tiny bit patronising and going on about maybe they hadn't seen a chair like mine before and did I know there are lots of different chairs. OK my time is up for going on, I am just going finish with some people are just rude and need a slap sorry.

I came home because it was just getting to me all those feelings of insecurity and maybe I shouldn't try to do things came back and when I nearly ordered a Brownie at the cafe my alarm bells rang.

When we got home I thought no they are not going to beat me, hell no. So I went around our village on my own in the chair with said camera. Was great i felt safe and secure, a big lavender Bush with loads of bees. Um it's kinda difficult trying to move chair not reverse off the kerb and focus think I need to come back next time as an octopus or not have MD.
I tried for about 45 minutes then cheated and took the picture above with my phone, I do smell really nice of lavender though.

I came home feeling with time and patience I might be able to do this. I also saw my new work station in the kitchen. It's going to be fabulous the chair fits under the work top I am going to be able to do so much. It really is exciting and the colour is really nice today.
Funny thing tonight I have been trying to help a fellow MD warrior realise that using her chair isn't giving in. The Internet is great but can be very dangerous when people are giving out lots of advise when really would be best to keep zipped.
There is nothing wrong with us using a chair so we can use the little bit of energy and muscle we have to do the fun stuff. We aren't giving in to our condition in fact it's quite the opposite using the equipment is actually enabling us to live.
I am going to go now, I have two very challenging days ahead for some rather strange reason I thought I was super woman and it was normal to spend tomorrow lunch time at the hospital having a minor procedure done then go and run my amazing Slimming World Groups. Get up the following day and repeat Slimming World and finish with root canal surgery on my front tooth. Um Amanda you are not quite right in the head.

I am pleased to report I have completed another day without a kitchen fully food optimising and no tears.


Sharon said...

Great writing, love the blog, I’m in a similar situation, I need a chair or mobility scooter to get around and also have to use portable oxygen, kids staring is fine because they’re just inquisitive about why a fully grown woman is sat in a chair and what’s that thing she has on her face, but adults are ignorant, the worst is when they are in a supermarket and go round the end of an aisle and come back for a second or third stare, makes me feel like I’ve grown 2 heads! Stay strong and positive you’re doing amazing.

Amanda said...

Thank you Sharon, I appreciate that you have taken the time to acknowledge that people do stare. Sometimes I think is it me being sensitive but yesterday one just incredibly obvious. Today a new day. They won't stop me trying to have the fullist life I can. Xxx